Domestic goddess

When I was about 16 I told my Mum that I would marry a chef. She kept scolding me for not cooking more and was not overly impressed with my efforts when I did. That might have something to do with the fact that my Mum and I have very different tastes or it might have something to do with my poor cooking skills.

I did actually think I would marry a chef…I thought that anything I wanted would come my way. Without effort. And I thought I’d be married by 22 because that’s super old (ha! stupid young self). I wasn’t interested in cooking or learning or being domestic in any sense.

But all that has changed. I do want to be a domestic goddess and I have the Nigella cook book to prove it! One of the hardest things so far in my quest to become this domestic goddess and wife of my husbands dreams is to come up with new food ideas. Ones that we both like.

So the search began. New cook books were bought, recipes from friends were shared and blogs were researched. One of my favourites is Not quite Nigella. A Sydney based blogger with all sorts of goodies. Look what I made last night from one of the recipes I found there (under the vegetarian section).

Macadamia toffee covered Camembert...delicious!

The crunchy toffee compliments the smoothness of the cheese, while the sweetness balances the natural bittery Camembert. A perfect combination! It looked so good on my platter and more importantly it impressed my husband. Hurrah!

I’m still not a domestic goddess by any means but I’ve just about got my husband fooled into thinking I am. And the good news? Chefs don’t clean up so I don’t have to worry about the mess I leave!

x

ps the recipe was super easy and I had left over toffee. YUM! Thanks Not Quite Nigella!

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Being late lets you make a grand entrance

“I’m not going to be 45 minutes late to my own wedding!” I emphatically stated to Tim.

“But you are going to be late” He replied with a frown.

“Yes I will be late, its one of the unwritten rules for brides.”  This conversation happened a week before our wedding. Tim hates being late and he was in fear of my own lateness.

I am forever haunted by a statement I made quite a few years ago to my friend Sandra. We were working together and it was a time in my life when I’d just gotten through a rough patch and lets just say I was more into me that I should have been. I dramatically said that being late lets you make a grand entrance. hmm and Sandra has never let me live it down since.

So when my wedding day arrived and Tim’s prediction was right and I was actually 45 minutes late (due to a number of circumstances not a desire to make a grand entrance – I was the bride, a grand entrance was assured) I’m sure that Sandra was not entirely surprised.

But I will admit, I’m often late. I always underestimate how long it will take me to get ready. And I often get distracted. And I think I can get places quicker than I can. I also may have taken it to heart when a lecturer from college told me its better to be 5 minutes late than 5 minutes early. So its no wonder really that Tim was worried.

But I have discovered his trick. He does to me what I used to do to a friend at uni. He tells me we need to leave earlier than we really do. So if we need to leave home at 8, he tells me we need to leave by 7.30. He wasn’t sneaky enough.

So we could be in for interesting times. His desire to be there on time (which really is a desire to be so early that we have time to read the entire Lord of the Rings series) and my desire to arrive 5 minutes late is going to clash. But I know who will win. Do you?

Will test it out this weekend, we’re off to a wedding. And the main aim there is to beat the bride but I’ll grab Frodo & his mates on my way out the door.

x

Something that only boys appreciate

I am going to be open and honest and quite frankly I’m also going to get a little gross. Boys really are obsessed with farting. Call it what you like….breaking wind, fluffs, cracker jacks, gas, coughing in your rompers….they’re all farts.

Now I knew that this was something that boys find extremely amusing. Boys grow up with this strange fascination in all bodily functions. The louder, the more potent the smell the better (and funnier) it is in their book.

My male friends from uni days would go on surfing trips together and always come back with stories. Nearly all these stories would revolve around someone’s smelly bum. It also involved everyone eating lots of baked beans and then stinking the tent out so no one could handle it anymore.

Girls grow up trying never to fart in the company of anyone. Ever.

So you bring these two histories together in marriage and it makes for interesting times.

I only found out about cupcaking earlier this year from Hamish and Andy. Why on earth would you want to cup your hand around your bum so you can capture the smell and stick it in someone’s face? It doesn’t make sense I tell you!

There comes a time in most relationships when you feel comfortable to fart in front of each other. It normally happens after you’ve had a few incidents of ‘accidental’ farting (accidental on the girls part anyway, the boy just lets a few go for fun and to see how the girl will react).

But no matter how comfortable I feel and how I know that we all do it, I still don’t find it funny to:

a) be cupcaked

b) suffer a dutch oven

c) hear farts in general.

This is definitely something that only boys appreciate.

However, things that I have learned about farting since being married:

  • if you fart under the covers and then casually raise your leg in the air and drop it back down, it will give a puff of fart filled air right up to your partners nose
  • if you fart and then walk quickly away, the smell is going to follow you
  • after you’ve hosted a boys night at your house, just go around and spray all common areas and bathrooms with air freshener..you might even want to get the spray and wipe out
  • the more disgusting you find a fart, the funnier it will be to your husband
  • men always, ALWAYS find farting funny – no exception.

I guess I’ll just have to deal with it.

x

Marriage Morse Code

My husband snores! And it’s not one of those cute little noises that makes you go ‘awe’. My best friend’s dog used to snore (well he probably still does) and it was so cute and endearing. Just a little squeak of a noise that lets you know they are sleeping.

Well this snore of my husband’s also lets me know he is sleeping it just also happens to stop me sleeping. The only other person I know who snores is my Nana Iris. I used to have to share a room with her at christmas time when the entire family was staying in one house. She suffers with insomnia so when I’d tell her in the morning that she’d been snoring during the night she’d say, “oh that’s good, it meant I got some sleep last night.” Totally oblivious to the fact that it meant I got no sleep that night!

You see those shows on tv about how to stop snoring by using different pillows, laying a certain way or sticking something in your mouth to keep the airway open. Give up those options I say, I’ve got something even better.

Most times Tim just snores for a little bit as he’s falling asleep and then it stops, so its not really a problem. But the other night he was snoring and it woke me up and I was so tired I couldn’t be bothered telling him to roll over. So I did all that I could think to do. I started morse code. Morse code on his chest. tap tap tatap tap with my index & middle fingers. Sending out an SOS. He woke up wondering what was going on and I just pretended to be asleep. But it worked. It stopped the snoring!

Ah it makes me giggle to think about it. So have you got any advice on how to stop snoring?

x

Marriage killed the friendship

Video killed the radio star and according to Robbie Williams reality killed the video star…but has marriage killed the friendship?

We all have a friend that as soon as they find a new love interest they leave you for dead. You never hear from them, you rarely see them and the only way to keep up with them is their Facebook status updates (but they only say I’m sooooooo in looooooove).

I was reading the news yesterday and came across an interesting article “Falling in love costs you two close friends, according to British expert

The article put simply is this – most adults have 6 people in their intimate circle but once you get married it drops down to 5. Your husband/wife actually counts for 2 people. So those 2 people who were in the best friends category get demoted to the good friends list.

Its hard to keep up with everyone’s expectations (they’re always a ruiner). Managing your best friends expectations of late nights, chick flicks and dancing isn’t always easy to balance against your husband’s expectations of dinner, home movies and in my case guitar hero.

I think that marriage itself doesn’t kill friendship but neglect does. I know that in the lead up to my wedding I wasn’t following up with my besties as I usually would. But I think your friends generally give you a bit of slack for that. Its after the wedding that counts!

I love my husband dearly and while the experts tell me he counts for 2 best friends, he definitely doesn’t count for 6! I need my girlfriends, what’s more I want my girlfriends.

You know it might be hard to find a good man but its also hard to find a best friend. And I want to keep them all.

x

I’ve gotta feeling

Do you remember when you were at school and you used to look forward to getting home in the afternoon? Rummaging around for something to eat and then plonking yourself down in front of the tv for your favourite show (mine was Degrassi Junior High…remember it?).

Or maybe it was the countdown until school holidays, especially the summer ones as they seemed never ending. Or that long awaited for birthday party where you were allowed a sleep over.

It’s that feeling I get each day when I realise its only a couple more hours and I’ll get to see my husband again. Its not quite the same feeling you get when its nearly 5pm and you can’t wait to leave the office. Or you’ve got that concert coming up. Its way better than that!

Getting to see my love each and every day is like that childhood excitement. Nothing beats it!

x

Chefs don’t clean up

My husband tried to bribe me. Here I was thinking the use of bribes was only used on small children and corrupt government officials but seems I can now be added to the list.

Tim and I don’t have many rules at our house but one of them, and might I add that Tim established this rule before we got married, is this:

Whoever cooks doesn’t have to clean up.

Well as soon as those words were out of his mouth I heartily agreed. Afterall, I could see the writing on the wall,  I knew it would be me who would do the most cooking and I’ll gladly admit I’m not a fan of cleaning up.

The other night I’m sitting at our dining room table (its new by the way and I love it!) minding my own business as Tim cleans up in the kitchen. Cleaning up dishes from the previous day. He casually starts a conversation and manages to put in… “If you come help me, I’ll let you get whatever you like as takeout for dinner.”

Hmm I considered and thought, fair enough, so I help out. But it was a bribe and wow it actually worked. Points to you babe. But now I’m scheming…what am I going to bribe him about???

x

Do you know how much I love you?

This past weekend Tim and I celebrated 2 months of marriage. This was the poem that I wrote especially for Tim and was read out during our ceremony.

Enjoy

x

A poem for Tim, by Jody

Do you know how much I love you? To the moon and back, And the stars beyond and everywhere in between

Do you know why I love you? Your smile lights my heart, Your voice calms my fears, You are my joy, my strength and everything in between

Do you know when I love you? As the rains fall down, when the cold winds blow, when there’s sunshine and shadow and everywhere in between

Do you know what I love? You, my dearest one, my answer to prayer, you are my all and everything in between

The grass is always greener

Sometimes I forget that I’m married. I don’t forget that I have Tim in my life but when someone calls me Mrs or there is mention that I am a wife then it can take me by surprise. They are titles that I’m not used to yet.

I think part of this is because I was a single girl for so long. Being 30 and single was a turning point for me. When I was 21 (and foolish) I made a list of things I wanted to do before I turned 30. On that list was ‘get married’ – somehow I’d got it stuck in my head that you should be married by 30.

So as the deadline was approaching and I was very much still single I started to freak out ever so slightly. Questions started tumbling through my head….what is wrong with me? am I unattractive? am I too set in my ways? am I too picky?

I always said, and still believe, that you can lead a fulfilling life no matter what your relationship status is. I was determined to make the most of it no matter what but sometimes I wondered what it would be like to have that special someone.

To be honest I couldn’t imagine anyone ever wanting to spend the rest of their life with me, but part of my heart hoped and prayed I would be proved wrong.

I could go on to say that it happened for me and so it will happen for you (if it hasn’t already) but what I want to tell you instead is that the grass is always greener.

I would be out with a group of girlfriends and see a couple having what looked like a romantic dinner and my heart would go ‘awwweee’. Or I’d be off on an overseas adventure and think how lovely it would be if it was a honeymoon. Or…I could recall a million other thoughts here.

Not that long ago one of my girlfriends said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to go camping with our group of friends as she thought it might be all couples. That stopped me and I thought…ooh I don’t want to go either and then I remembered I was one of those couples!

Even on my beloved honeymoon I saw a group of 4 girls waiting to catch the plane home. My heart leapt and I thought oh how lovely to be on holidays with your friends.

So I’ve been the single girl dreaming of a man and I’ve been the newlywed dreaming of friends. I wasn’t unhappy in either situation but it just goes to show we always look at something we don’t have and long for it.

Marriage is awesome and I’d totally recommend it but having a group of friends is totally awesome too.

x

Its our thing

One piece of marriage advice I got was that we needed to find a common interest. This might have come my way since my husband and I are very different. He’s from the country and claims I’m a city girl. I used to be a strict vegetarian and Tim eats meat with every meal (ok not breakfast, well not everyday). He likes heavy metal and I like pop. He says potato, I say potarto….ok you get what I mean.

We’re different. But its never been that big of a deal, we compromise. For example after me watching about 10 of his movies we were in the cinema for that Adam Sandler one, “Grown Ups” and by then I’d had enough. So Tim gives in and announces next time he’s taking me to a ‘chick flick’. I’m not game to admit which one we actually watched but it was good.

It works for us, but having a common interest is good too and we’ve found one!

A few days ago I was kind of bagging my husbands interest in ebay. I have to admit that ever since we got guitar hero with the drums and the microphone, there hasn’t been a day it hasn’t been played.

Its actually something we like to do together. Tim plays the guitar (as he’s the hero and I can’t even play the stupid thing) and I like to sing. So we have a band. It’s now our thing.

x

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