In love with being in love?

I remember watching a Seinfeld episode, possibly the one where Jerry gets engaged, about how bizarre it is that people get married. Jerry talked about how you’d think it would be rare that someone would find a person that they like enough that they actually want to commit to seeing everyday of their life. But it happens every day.

Are we in love with being in love?

The idea of love is sometimes much more attractive than the reality of it. But that is a tainted view. Sometimes I don’t think I understand what true love is all about.

I certainly didn’t before Tim entered my life.

I used to find it hard enough to actually find someone I liked not to mention whether they liked me in return. And then I think I only got snippets of love.

One day I had a chat with my dear friend Sara not long before she got married. She had found love, true love and I was hungry to hear what it was like. She said something that stuck with me. We had been talking about my exes. Visiting the ghosts of boyfriends past is dangerous and I was lamenting what had been. Sara said to me, I don’t think anyone has ever treated you as you deserve.

It blew me away. It made me sad. It made me happy. It made me question. But it also made me realise that I had never treated the boyfriends-of-the-past in a way that they deserved either.

We like the idea of love. That someone will be there for us no matter what, that someone is interested in us above all others, that we have someone to share our life with.

But the type of love that marriage requires is more than that. Rather than someone giving to us, it requires us to give.

It reminds me of a beautiful description of love:

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (You can find it in the Bible,1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

So I want to use this description of love and turn it into what my marriage is about. If five years down the track someone asked Tim what marriage was like, I hope that he would be able to use these words. I pray that I can use this positive description of love and turn it into who I am.

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