Marriage killed the friendship

Video killed the radio star and according to Robbie Williams reality killed the video star…but has marriage killed the friendship?

We all have a friend that as soon as they find a new love interest they leave you for dead. You never hear from them, you rarely see them and the only way to keep up with them is their Facebook status updates (but they only say I’m sooooooo in looooooove).

I was reading the news yesterday and came across an interesting article “Falling in love costs you two close friends, according to British expert

The article put simply is this – most adults have 6 people in their intimate circle but once you get married it drops down to 5. Your husband/wife actually counts for 2 people. So those 2 people who were in the best friends category get demoted to the good friends list.

Its hard to keep up with everyone’s expectations (they’re always a ruiner). Managing your best friends expectations of late nights, chick flicks and dancing isn’t always easy to balance against your husband’s expectations of dinner, home movies and in my case guitar hero.

I think that marriage itself doesn’t kill friendship but neglect does. I know that in the lead up to my wedding I wasn’t following up with my besties as I usually would. But I think your friends generally give you a bit of slack for that. Its after the wedding that counts!

I love my husband dearly and while the experts tell me he counts for 2 best friends, he definitely doesn’t count for 6! I need my girlfriends, what’s more I want my girlfriends.

You know it might be hard to find a good man but its also hard to find a best friend. And I want to keep them all.

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Its our thing

One piece of marriage advice I got was that we needed to find a common interest. This might have come my way since my husband and I are very different. He’s from the country and claims I’m a city girl. I used to be a strict vegetarian and Tim eats meat with every meal (ok not breakfast, well not everyday). He likes heavy metal and I like pop. He says potato, I say potarto….ok you get what I mean.

We’re different. But its never been that big of a deal, we compromise. For example after me watching about 10 of his movies we were in the cinema for that Adam Sandler one, “Grown Ups” and by then I’d had enough. So Tim gives in and announces next time he’s taking me to a ‘chick flick’. I’m not game to admit which one we actually watched but it was good.

It works for us, but having a common interest is good too and we’ve found one!

A few days ago I was kind of bagging my husbands interest in ebay. I have to admit that ever since we got guitar hero with the drums and the microphone, there hasn’t been a day it hasn’t been played.

Its actually something we like to do together. Tim plays the guitar (as he’s the hero and I can’t even play the stupid thing) and I like to sing. So we have a band. It’s now our thing.

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