Nothing exciting happens on Wednesday

Its Wednesday. And nothing exciting ever seems to happen on a Wednesday. Its very different to Monday. Monday gets a lot of attention but people generally hate it. It was on a monday that my husband and I faced our first real fight since getting married.

Some how it came up out of nowhere for us. Everything is normal and them BAM! You’re in opposite sides of the ring putting your boxing gloves on, throwing verbal punches. It spirals down and down until you wonder how you’re going to bring it back.

I think a lot of people get to this place and don’t know what to do. We get hurt and so we want to hurt in return. Accusations are flying while mercy and love and compassion are pushed down. No place for those things here. But someone has to compromise. Someone has to take the first step to make things right. Someone has to let go.

In these moments no one wants to be the person to make the first move back to reality. We both feel justified in our argument and we both want to be proved right. And here a choice is made. Either I put myself first or I put my marriage first.

Our culture is all about putting ourself first…I wonder if this has something to do with our high divorce rate?

One of my mentors said to me, just after I got engaged, how he made an agreement with his wife. Their agreement was this – divorce was never to be mentioned. I spoke to Tim about it and we made the same agreement, we want our marriage to be forever and we agree to face whatever obstacle comes our way (I do recognise its easy to say that now before the obstacles actually come).

So when that argument erupted and neither of us wanted to back down, it would be so easy to say – this is too hard. I don’t want to do this anymore….after all that’s the biggest punch that can be thrown.

Instead, we stopped, we looked at what was good for our marriage. And then we realised we were both wrong!

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