Domestic goddess

When I was about 16 I told my Mum that I would marry a chef. She kept scolding me for not cooking more and was not overly impressed with my efforts when I did. That might have something to do with the fact that my Mum and I have very different tastes or it might have something to do with my poor cooking skills.

I did actually think I would marry a chef…I thought that anything I wanted would come my way. Without effort. And I thought I’d be married by 22 because that’s super old (ha! stupid young self). I wasn’t interested in cooking or learning or being domestic in any sense.

But all that has changed. I do want to be a domestic goddess and I have the Nigella cook book to prove it! One of the hardest things so far in my quest to become this domestic goddess and wife of my husbands dreams is to come up with new food ideas. Ones that we both like.

So the search began. New cook books were bought, recipes from friends were shared and blogs were researched. One of my favourites is Not quite Nigella. A Sydney based blogger with all sorts of goodies. Look what I made last night from one of the recipes I found there (under the vegetarian section).

Macadamia toffee covered Camembert...delicious!

The crunchy toffee compliments the smoothness of the cheese, while the sweetness balances the natural bittery Camembert. A perfect combination! It looked so good on my platter and more importantly it impressed my husband. Hurrah!

I’m still not a domestic goddess by any means but I’ve just about got my husband fooled into thinking I am. And the good news? Chefs don’t clean up so I don’t have to worry about the mess I leave!

x

ps the recipe was super easy and I had left over toffee. YUM! Thanks Not Quite Nigella!

Don’t forget the purple potato people

My husband can’t seem to wake up without waking me up too. This is a problem….he gets up at 4am most mornings. And today on the very first working day of daylight savings it was hard. But also funny.

Being a Queenslander, I’m still not used to daylight savings. It seems weird, putting the clocks forward an hour and pretending the time has changed for us all. So when the alarm went off it really was 3am. Argh!

Now I’m not sure what happened, but according to my source, lets call him Tim, I had some wise words this morning.

“Don’t forget the purple potato people!”

It’s very important not to forget these people. Why? And who are they? Well it seems nobody knows apart from my semi-awake self. I do remember saying something and getting the impression that Tim thought it was silly, but feeling the importance of it and thinking he didn’t understand. We laughed and laughed about it during our morning phone call.

Ahh isn’t it lovely to have someone to remember all the stupid stuff.

In other news, no grand entrance was made at the wedding on the weekend…well not by us anyway. We arrived a nice and early 30 minutes (yawn). Tim sarcastically asked where were Frodo and his mates (I left them behind since I was so stressed about possibly being late).

This was our first wedding since our own, here are a few of my observations:

* Just because you’ve seen a flash of a big white dress, it doesn’t mean the bride is here…it might just be the Priest in his robes

* Before my wedding every wedding I went too was an opportunity to gather ideas. Hmm I like this, ooh no I would never do that…what WAS she thinking? But after my wedding I have no reason to gather anymore so felt unsure if I should have opinions or not.

* Fireworks at weddings are great

* Tim is still learning that just about all brides are late (yes babe its true, ask anyone)

Hope you all had a fantastic weekend. Here’s to a good week ahead!

x

A word from the not so wise

This time of year brings grand finals. Football grand finals. With the most important of these being the AFL. This year in particular was a big one. My husbands beloved team, Collingwood, finally made it again (after being beaten by my team a few years ago…but its best not to mention that).

My love of the Brisbane Lions began back in 2001. I was dragged along to a game by a friend and there I fell in love. The excitement, the skill, the men (seriously they are the fittest men of any football code)…it was a winning combination and it was the beginning of our glory days so what was not to love. When I moved to Melbourne I felt like I should support a local team…so the search for the right team began. I courted Hawthorn, as they were the reigning champions and half my church supported them and St Kilda, as they have the prettiest uniform. But I couldn’t forget the Lions.

However, in the interest of a happy marriage, Tim and I have come to an agreement. Collingwood are my second team and the Lions are his. If they play each other…well lets just say we’re better off not watching it. But this love of the Lions helped me understand the importance of this grand final. I knew it was a big deal. I knew plans would be made.

Not being able to watch the game live, we had some friends tape it so we could all watch it together later that night. Trying to avoid finding out the scores was hard. Phones were turned off. Back roads were taken to avoid running into anyone showing off the results. People were ignored.

I really should have turned my phone off too. I got a text, all the boys demanded I shouldn’t read the message. Tim was adamant ‘Turn your phone off”. I obeyed. But curiosity killed the cat and so it got to me. Once all the boys were outside I checked the message. “Tell Tim not to bother, it was a draw.” hahahahahaha a draw, as if.

I thought it so funny that I told the boys. Hmm not so funny once we watched the game and it turned out to be a draw. And the death stares my husband gave me were definitely not so funny. I broke the rule, I told them the score…and my cries of “I didn’t think it was real” did not save me.

So a word from the not so wise. Don’t get involved in grand finals. Or football. Or boys! Ha ok I take back the last one. But I’m serious about grand finals….nothing good comes out of them (unless it involves the Lions).

x

Something that only boys appreciate

I am going to be open and honest and quite frankly I’m also going to get a little gross. Boys really are obsessed with farting. Call it what you like….breaking wind, fluffs, cracker jacks, gas, coughing in your rompers….they’re all farts.

Now I knew that this was something that boys find extremely amusing. Boys grow up with this strange fascination in all bodily functions. The louder, the more potent the smell the better (and funnier) it is in their book.

My male friends from uni days would go on surfing trips together and always come back with stories. Nearly all these stories would revolve around someone’s smelly bum. It also involved everyone eating lots of baked beans and then stinking the tent out so no one could handle it anymore.

Girls grow up trying never to fart in the company of anyone. Ever.

So you bring these two histories together in marriage and it makes for interesting times.

I only found out about cupcaking earlier this year from Hamish and Andy. Why on earth would you want to cup your hand around your bum so you can capture the smell and stick it in someone’s face? It doesn’t make sense I tell you!

There comes a time in most relationships when you feel comfortable to fart in front of each other. It normally happens after you’ve had a few incidents of ‘accidental’ farting (accidental on the girls part anyway, the boy just lets a few go for fun and to see how the girl will react).

But no matter how comfortable I feel and how I know that we all do it, I still don’t find it funny to:

a) be cupcaked

b) suffer a dutch oven

c) hear farts in general.

This is definitely something that only boys appreciate.

However, things that I have learned about farting since being married:

  • if you fart under the covers and then casually raise your leg in the air and drop it back down, it will give a puff of fart filled air right up to your partners nose
  • if you fart and then walk quickly away, the smell is going to follow you
  • after you’ve hosted a boys night at your house, just go around and spray all common areas and bathrooms with air freshener..you might even want to get the spray and wipe out
  • the more disgusting you find a fart, the funnier it will be to your husband
  • men always, ALWAYS find farting funny – no exception.

I guess I’ll just have to deal with it.

x

Marriage Morse Code

My husband snores! And it’s not one of those cute little noises that makes you go ‘awe’. My best friend’s dog used to snore (well he probably still does) and it was so cute and endearing. Just a little squeak of a noise that lets you know they are sleeping.

Well this snore of my husband’s also lets me know he is sleeping it just also happens to stop me sleeping. The only other person I know who snores is my Nana Iris. I used to have to share a room with her at christmas time when the entire family was staying in one house. She suffers with insomnia so when I’d tell her in the morning that she’d been snoring during the night she’d say, “oh that’s good, it meant I got some sleep last night.” Totally oblivious to the fact that it meant I got no sleep that night!

You see those shows on tv about how to stop snoring by using different pillows, laying a certain way or sticking something in your mouth to keep the airway open. Give up those options I say, I’ve got something even better.

Most times Tim just snores for a little bit as he’s falling asleep and then it stops, so its not really a problem. But the other night he was snoring and it woke me up and I was so tired I couldn’t be bothered telling him to roll over. So I did all that I could think to do. I started morse code. Morse code on his chest. tap tap tatap tap with my index & middle fingers. Sending out an SOS. He woke up wondering what was going on and I just pretended to be asleep. But it worked. It stopped the snoring!

Ah it makes me giggle to think about it. So have you got any advice on how to stop snoring?

x

Marriage killed the friendship

Video killed the radio star and according to Robbie Williams reality killed the video star…but has marriage killed the friendship?

We all have a friend that as soon as they find a new love interest they leave you for dead. You never hear from them, you rarely see them and the only way to keep up with them is their Facebook status updates (but they only say I’m sooooooo in looooooove).

I was reading the news yesterday and came across an interesting article “Falling in love costs you two close friends, according to British expert

The article put simply is this – most adults have 6 people in their intimate circle but once you get married it drops down to 5. Your husband/wife actually counts for 2 people. So those 2 people who were in the best friends category get demoted to the good friends list.

Its hard to keep up with everyone’s expectations (they’re always a ruiner). Managing your best friends expectations of late nights, chick flicks and dancing isn’t always easy to balance against your husband’s expectations of dinner, home movies and in my case guitar hero.

I think that marriage itself doesn’t kill friendship but neglect does. I know that in the lead up to my wedding I wasn’t following up with my besties as I usually would. But I think your friends generally give you a bit of slack for that. Its after the wedding that counts!

I love my husband dearly and while the experts tell me he counts for 2 best friends, he definitely doesn’t count for 6! I need my girlfriends, what’s more I want my girlfriends.

You know it might be hard to find a good man but its also hard to find a best friend. And I want to keep them all.

x

I’ve gotta feeling

Do you remember when you were at school and you used to look forward to getting home in the afternoon? Rummaging around for something to eat and then plonking yourself down in front of the tv for your favourite show (mine was Degrassi Junior High…remember it?).

Or maybe it was the countdown until school holidays, especially the summer ones as they seemed never ending. Or that long awaited for birthday party where you were allowed a sleep over.

It’s that feeling I get each day when I realise its only a couple more hours and I’ll get to see my husband again. Its not quite the same feeling you get when its nearly 5pm and you can’t wait to leave the office. Or you’ve got that concert coming up. Its way better than that!

Getting to see my love each and every day is like that childhood excitement. Nothing beats it!

x

Chefs don’t clean up

My husband tried to bribe me. Here I was thinking the use of bribes was only used on small children and corrupt government officials but seems I can now be added to the list.

Tim and I don’t have many rules at our house but one of them, and might I add that Tim established this rule before we got married, is this:

Whoever cooks doesn’t have to clean up.

Well as soon as those words were out of his mouth I heartily agreed. Afterall, I could see the writing on the wall,  I knew it would be me who would do the most cooking and I’ll gladly admit I’m not a fan of cleaning up.

The other night I’m sitting at our dining room table (its new by the way and I love it!) minding my own business as Tim cleans up in the kitchen. Cleaning up dishes from the previous day. He casually starts a conversation and manages to put in… “If you come help me, I’ll let you get whatever you like as takeout for dinner.”

Hmm I considered and thought, fair enough, so I help out. But it was a bribe and wow it actually worked. Points to you babe. But now I’m scheming…what am I going to bribe him about???

x

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